How to take better decisions and win everyday?

5 min read.

Did you know that a lot of decisions we take in our lives stem from how we feel at that particular time?

I know a lot of people might deny that. They might say that, “no, I’m a very logical person, and I analyze everything before I take a decision”

Statistics say that those decisions that we take logically are hardly even 5% of all the decisions that we take every day.

There are thousands of small decisions we take everyday that determine the course of our lives – our health, our well-being, our relationships, our work habits and our revenue. Unfortunately, most of those decisions are taken subconsciously, with no logical reasoning.

Most of the time, when we are deciding something subconsciously, we are basing it on exactly how we are feeling at that particular time.

Remember the time you ate an entire pizza, simply because you were stressed out at work?

Or the time you went overboard with holiday shopping and bought a bunch of expensive crap that you never used?

That’s your feelings dictating you how to live your life!

Are feelings a bad thing? No, they show us what we need to do.

Should we act exactly according to how we feel like? Absolutely not!

We have feelings, but we also have goals! We also have a future to build. If we allow ourselves to get swayed away with every whim and Urge, we might end up lost, bancrupt or alone!

But the latest neuro-science research says that the way we feel about something can be changed.

Which means that if we are able to control the way we feel, we will be able to control our decision making and that would make a huge difference in our lives. So, the question is, how does that work? Or does that even work?

Yes. It works. It works big time. And this is how it works.

I have a daughter, a toddler. I know a lot of my examples are based around her because that that is the one thing that taught me a lot in life. So here it goes. I have a toddler and you know how clingy they can get. They’re banging on the door when you’re in the bathroom. You’re trying to eat your food in silence but they want to hop on to you and they want to sit on your head. These things can make you irritable and might make you lose your temper.

You want to have your alone time, you have things to do and sometimes you’re just like “oh my God give me a break”

Lots of toddlers end up getting hit by parents because they irritate the crap out of them. And then the parent and the kid both feel miserable. The kid cries and the parent feels guilty of hitting someone they love.

Okay, that’s why I attended this workshop by this amazing coach, Amuslimmamacomics and you know, her perspective just changed the way I used to think about all this.

So she said that toddlers grow up really fast. Within a blink of time, they will grow up, start going to school, make friends and they’ll have their own life. Soon enough, they will hardly care to be around us, parents, anymore. Keeping that perspective in mind, think of it this way. Today, there is this human being who needs you so much, who wants you so much that they want to be with you all the time. Do you have any other person in your life who values you so much, unconditionally. It doesn’t matter whether you’ve taken a bath, whether you’re looking good, whether you even being nice to them or not?

They just want to be with you anyway. Let that sink in. Do you have any other relationship in your life where a person values you so much that they just want to be with you, no matter the circumstances, no matter the situation?

Your toddler needs you, wants you and adores you. You should value that. Look at it this way – “Oh my god, this little little person wants me. This little person just puts up with me. They love me so much. I am so valued. And when you start looking at it this way, of course, in the beginning it would sound very stupid. (like it did for me!), but over a period of time, it’ll become your default thought pattern.

What I did was, I just changed the narrative!!

I chose to think some new, more empowering thoughts, whenever I encountered the situation. Gradually that became my default thought pattern. As the mental narrative changed, so did the feelings associated with it!

In the beginning I was in the denial phase. “I can’t do that”, I thought. But when I started practicing that, after a while it started working. You know, now when my toddler is banging at the door when I’m in the bathroom, I don’t feel irritable at all. I don’t lose my patience at all. I don’t shout back and, you know, I just go out and I give her a hug and I tell her that oh my god you missed mommy for those two minutes. That’s how it is.

The situation is the same but now I have more control over it. I know how I feel about it because that’s the way I chose to feel about it, intentionally. And so I chose how this story ends, not the other way around.

Sorry for the long story, but that’s how taking a little decision to feel differently about something changes the way you feel about it and ultimately changes the way you handle that situation and gives you more control.

Just how compounding works, small daily affirmations will add up and the way you feel about something will change.

Now you’re not just reacting to an outside stimuli, you’re choosing your course of action, intentionally. It gives you all the control you need in the particular situation. Eventually, you get to decide how things end.

This allows us to take much better decisions in our lives. It affects the way we work, the way we eat, the way we shop and of course, the way we parent.

If you think about it, it affects everything that we might hold dear to us in our personal and professional life, including our mental and physical health, our business decisions and our relationships.

So that’s how it is. This is just a simple story about how you change the way you feel about something and it gives you more control. It eventually let’s you choose how to end your story and it makes you feel like a winner.

If you feel like you learnt something new in this little blog post, show your love by sharing it with someone who needs this too!

If you want to learn more about this, follow my Instagram page (@asbahshamsofficial) for more related content.

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